I don't want this blog to become "kids say the funniest things" (or not as it turned out) so after this I will cease and desist, but it cracked me up.
My pleasant dreams were again broken at 6.20am this morning (James Marsters this time - my brain seems determined to revisit old crushes before the baby comes) by a wail coming from HackneyChild's room, followed by the child himself.
"I'm a worried little gnome", he cried. "I'm a worried little gnome!"
My heart melted in a bemused way. "Poor worried little gnome, come in bed with mummy!" (Sotto voce to partner: "Where did he get that from?" Partner: "No idea.")
Climbing into bed the little gnome sobbed "Wipe it!". "Huh?" "I've got a runny little nose! Stop laughing!"
Wednesday 31 March 2010
Tuesday 30 March 2010
Dreams and proto-stalkers
Pregnancy is supposed to result in very vivid dreams, although this time round I haven't noticed it as much, probably because my sleep is likely to be interrupted by cries of "I am feeling a bit sad" or "I need more milk". I have had the "I have given birth to two tiny tiny thumb sized babies that I keep losing and forgetting to feed" one, and also two where Hackney_bloke brought a new wife home (one time it was Delia Smith...), probably this is me sublimating how HackneyChild will feel about the new addition. Or fretting about my cookery skills.
Last night though I had a, cough, "romantic" dream about Hugh Laurie (he was Dr House but nicer), which reminded me of how me and Lovely School Friend used to stalk him back in the day (we were mocked by those who preferred Jason Donovan or Bros, but who's laughing now he's a sexy American doctor, eh?). This was before the internet/ Twitter/ Heat magazine and I'm sure today's teen girl stalkers would mock the rubbishness of our stalking techniques. Here is HackneyHackette's guide to being a rubbish celebrity stalker.
1. Identify that your chosen celebrity is appearing in a play in London. Go and see this play as often as your meagre resources and distance from London will allow. After the play hang out by the stage door for your snatched conversation and autographs. On way home tut disapprovingly at the forwardness of girls who asked for a kiss. Never realise that you could actually save money by not seeing the play, just going to the stage door.
2. Discover that your chosen celeb lives in "Camden". Spend half a day touring what you believe to be "Camden" keeping a sharp look out for said celeb's car, the numberplate of which you memorised while engaged in 1. Have little idea of what you would do if you spotted this car, apart from a vague plan about pretending to do a Geography project and knocking on doors.
3. Write to celeb with an amusing quiz for him to fill in and be delighted when he charmingly replies saying "You are very funny, please stop it, the last thing I need is more competition." Actually that was all Lovely School Friend, I lacked the initiative and in fact the funniness.
Last night though I had a, cough, "romantic" dream about Hugh Laurie (he was Dr House but nicer), which reminded me of how me and Lovely School Friend used to stalk him back in the day (we were mocked by those who preferred Jason Donovan or Bros, but who's laughing now he's a sexy American doctor, eh?). This was before the internet/ Twitter/ Heat magazine and I'm sure today's teen girl stalkers would mock the rubbishness of our stalking techniques. Here is HackneyHackette's guide to being a rubbish celebrity stalker.
1. Identify that your chosen celebrity is appearing in a play in London. Go and see this play as often as your meagre resources and distance from London will allow. After the play hang out by the stage door for your snatched conversation and autographs. On way home tut disapprovingly at the forwardness of girls who asked for a kiss. Never realise that you could actually save money by not seeing the play, just going to the stage door.
2. Discover that your chosen celeb lives in "Camden". Spend half a day touring what you believe to be "Camden" keeping a sharp look out for said celeb's car, the numberplate of which you memorised while engaged in 1. Have little idea of what you would do if you spotted this car, apart from a vague plan about pretending to do a Geography project and knocking on doors.
3. Write to celeb with an amusing quiz for him to fill in and be delighted when he charmingly replies saying "You are very funny, please stop it, the last thing I need is more competition." Actually that was all Lovely School Friend, I lacked the initiative and in fact the funniness.
Monday 29 March 2010
B-day
So today was supposed to be HackneyBaby's due date - s/he has 4 hours to make an appearance. Today two people on Holloway road stopped me within five minutes of each other to tell me what sex of child I am having - hilariously one said a boy and one said a girl. Are the people on Holloway Road particularly psychic/ deluded/annoying?
Went to Mothercare to pick up last minute essentials - sheets for the Moses basket as a loft monster seems to have eaten all the ones we had last time, and a changing bag - I thought I'd manage with a normal bag but suddenly decided it had to be a "proper" changing one. I was finagled into filling in some form for "money off vouchers" ie "please send me direct mail forever". "Oh, you've put today's date instead of your due date," they said. "No, that is my due date." "You're due today? Go home! Get out of our shop!"
HackneyChild fell asleep in the car on the way and slept soundly while Hackney_bloke did the food shop and I waited in the car, then I did the baby shop and vice versa. He was sorely disappointed when we got home and he had missed the shopping, and had a big tantrum. I tried to talk him out of it by saying "Let me read you that book." "No! That is not a nice book! Someone gets eaten up in that book!" It's a nursery rhyme collection, no-one gets eaten to my knowledge. I also tried Milly Molly Mandy but it appears the same applies, although we couldn't pin down exactly who gets eaten - not Milly Molly Mandy or Billy Blunt apparently.
Went to Mothercare to pick up last minute essentials - sheets for the Moses basket as a loft monster seems to have eaten all the ones we had last time, and a changing bag - I thought I'd manage with a normal bag but suddenly decided it had to be a "proper" changing one. I was finagled into filling in some form for "money off vouchers" ie "please send me direct mail forever". "Oh, you've put today's date instead of your due date," they said. "No, that is my due date." "You're due today? Go home! Get out of our shop!"
HackneyChild fell asleep in the car on the way and slept soundly while Hackney_bloke did the food shop and I waited in the car, then I did the baby shop and vice versa. He was sorely disappointed when we got home and he had missed the shopping, and had a big tantrum. I tried to talk him out of it by saying "Let me read you that book." "No! That is not a nice book! Someone gets eaten up in that book!" It's a nursery rhyme collection, no-one gets eaten to my knowledge. I also tried Milly Molly Mandy but it appears the same applies, although we couldn't pin down exactly who gets eaten - not Milly Molly Mandy or Billy Blunt apparently.
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Coram's Fields
HackneyChild and I went to Coram's Fields near Holborn yesterday. The weather was amazingly springlike considering that today it is back to being cold and grey, and HackneyChild was being angelic, even though the bus journey was stop starty most of the way, so we had a brilliant time.
It's a great place for children with three or four different playgrounds for different ages, goats apparently wandering free, chickens, ducks and rabbits, a drop in for under-fives (we didn't try that) and a vegetarian cafe - no inside tables so wouldn't be great if raining but a good reasonably priced selection of foods children actually eat like normal sandwiches made from sliced bread (hummus, egg, tuna, cream cheese - not all together, even I think that would be disgusting and I am pregnant), pasta, and fruit. We also liked the wooden sheep and the summer house/ bandstand type thing.
Will definately try to go back in the summer, it looks a lovely place to have a picnic and nurse baby while HackneyChild runs around. I guess it might get crowded when the weather is good though.
It's a great place for children with three or four different playgrounds for different ages, goats apparently wandering free, chickens, ducks and rabbits, a drop in for under-fives (we didn't try that) and a vegetarian cafe - no inside tables so wouldn't be great if raining but a good reasonably priced selection of foods children actually eat like normal sandwiches made from sliced bread (hummus, egg, tuna, cream cheese - not all together, even I think that would be disgusting and I am pregnant), pasta, and fruit. We also liked the wooden sheep and the summer house/ bandstand type thing.
Will definately try to go back in the summer, it looks a lovely place to have a picnic and nurse baby while HackneyChild runs around. I guess it might get crowded when the weather is good though.
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