A worried little gnome

I don't want this blog to become "kids say the funniest things" (or not as it turned out) so after this I will cease and desist, but it cracked me up.

My pleasant dreams were again broken at 6.20am this morning (James Marsters this time - my brain seems determined to revisit old crushes before the baby comes) by a wail coming from HackneyChild's room, followed by the child himself.

"I'm a worried little gnome", he cried. "I'm a worried little gnome!"

My heart melted in a bemused way. "Poor worried little gnome, come in bed with mummy!" (Sotto voce to partner: "Where did he get that from?" Partner: "No idea.")

Climbing into bed the little gnome sobbed "Wipe it!". "Huh?" "I've got a runny little  nose! Stop laughing!"

Dreams and proto-stalkers

Pregnancy is supposed to result in very vivid dreams, although this time round I haven't noticed it as much, probably because my sleep is likely to be interrupted by cries of "I am feeling a bit sad" or "I need more milk". I have had the "I have given birth to two tiny tiny thumb sized babies that I keep losing and forgetting to feed" one, and also two where Hackney_bloke brought a new wife home (one time it was Delia Smith...), probably this is me sublimating how HackneyChild will feel about the new addition. Or fretting about my cookery skills.

Last night though I had a, cough, "romantic" dream about Hugh Laurie (he was Dr House but nicer), which reminded  me of how me and Lovely School Friend used to stalk him back in the day (we were mocked by those who preferred Jason Donovan or Bros, but who's laughing now he's a sexy American doctor, eh?). This was before the internet/ Twitter/ Heat magazine and I'm sure today's teen girl stalkers would mock the rubbishness of our stalking techniques. Here is HackneyHackette's guide to being a rubbish celebrity stalker.

1. Identify that your chosen celebrity is appearing in a play in London. Go and see this play as often as your meagre resources and distance from London will allow. After the play hang out by the stage door for your snatched conversation and autographs. On way home tut disapprovingly at the forwardness of girls who asked for a kiss. Never realise that you could actually save money by not seeing the play, just going to the stage door.

2. Discover that your chosen celeb lives in "Camden". Spend half a day touring what you believe to be "Camden" keeping a sharp look out for said celeb's car, the numberplate of which you memorised while engaged in 1. Have little idea of what you would do if you spotted this car, apart from a vague plan about pretending to do a Geography project and knocking on doors.

3. Write to celeb with an amusing quiz for him to fill in and be delighted when he charmingly replies saying "You are very funny, please stop it, the last thing I need is more competition." Actually that was all Lovely School Friend, I lacked the initiative and in fact the funniness.

B-day

So today was supposed to be HackneyBaby's due date -  s/he has 4 hours to make an appearance. Today two people on Holloway road stopped me within five minutes of each other to tell me what sex of child I am having - hilariously one said a boy and one said a girl. Are the people on Holloway Road particularly psychic/ deluded/annoying?

Went to Mothercare to pick up last minute essentials - sheets for the Moses basket as a loft monster seems to have eaten all the ones we had last time, and a changing bag - I thought I'd manage with a normal bag but suddenly decided it had to be a "proper" changing one. I was finagled into filling in some form for "money off vouchers" ie "please send me direct mail forever". "Oh, you've put today's date instead of your due date," they said. "No, that is my due date." "You're due today? Go home! Get out of our shop!"

HackneyChild fell asleep in the car on the way and slept soundly while Hackney_bloke did the food shop and I waited in the car, then I did the baby shop and vice versa. He was sorely disappointed when we got home and he had missed the shopping, and had a big tantrum. I tried to talk him out of it by saying "Let me read you that book." "No! That is not a nice book! Someone gets eaten up in that book!" It's a nursery rhyme collection, no-one gets eaten to my knowledge. I also tried Milly Molly Mandy but it appears the same applies, although we couldn't pin down exactly who gets eaten - not Milly Molly Mandy or Billy Blunt apparently.

Coram's Fields

HackneyChild and I went to Coram's Fields near Holborn yesterday. The weather was amazingly springlike considering that today it is back to being cold and grey, and HackneyChild was being angelic, even though the bus journey was stop starty most of the way, so we had a brilliant time.

It's a great place for children with three or four different playgrounds for different ages, goats apparently wandering free, chickens, ducks and rabbits, a drop in for under-fives (we didn't try that) and a vegetarian cafe - no inside tables so wouldn't be great if raining but a good reasonably priced selection of foods children actually eat like normal sandwiches made from sliced bread (hummus, egg, tuna, cream cheese - not all together, even I think that would be disgusting and I am pregnant), pasta, and fruit. We also liked the wooden sheep and the summer house/ bandstand type thing.

Will definately try to go back in the summer, it looks a lovely place to have a picnic and nurse baby while HackneyChild runs around. I guess it might get crowded when the weather is good though.

Cinnamon Kitchen

Our "curry club", a fluctuating but lovely group of uni friends and others, has now racked up quite a good number of visits to various Indian restaurants in London. In celebration of one of our number's sadly brief visit to the UK from Argentina we went last night to The Cinnamon Kitchen by Liverpool Street, an off-shoot of The Cinnamon Club in Westminster, which I have been to twice and loved.

The food at Cinnamon Kitchen was delicious but the staff were weirdly stressy. I have never been to a restaurant where the staff stressed so much. Firstly making the booking my Visa details were taken and I was told there would be a £20 charge per person (!) if we cancelled without giving 24 hours notice; at the same time I was told I must inform in advance if the number of people attending was to go up or down. Maybe this is common practice but I've never had it happen before.

Then when we got there one lady got in an incomprehensible stress about whether we were going to use the A La Carte or Specials menu, as I hadn't specified when booking (hadn't been asked!). There were confusing instructions about being sure to inform the waiter which we were ordering from (the specials menu was exactly the same as the a la carte but with fewer dishes). Then someone else came along (while there were still only two of us there) to inform us that "what I will do for you is I will give you some of all the starters so you can share them." Now this would be quite nice if it was an option but it was presented as a fait accompli. ArgentinaGirl had the presence of mind to ask how much this would be and it turned out it would be more than each ordering a separate starter, weirdly.

On the up side though there was one lovely waiter who was very helpful with dietary requirements and putting orders in before everyone arrived. And as I say the food was delicious - I had fat chillis with spiced paneer and tilapia curry. I would have had dessert, there was something chocolatey that looked nice, but I didn't as noone else was and I didn't want to look like a greedy guts. Thanks goodness for that restraint, as it was I spent half the night in heart burn city due to the foolishness of eating spicy food at 35 weeks pregnant. HackneyChild decided to throw a massive tantrum at 12.45am as well and decided he would only go back to sleep if I came into his bedroom not Daddy. His best comment was "I don't like my bed! You must get me another bed!"

Back in the saddle again

It's so weird being fulltime carer again. Today we went to Piccolo at Hackney Forge which we used to go to every week, and it was as if we had never left, apart from not recognising so many people. Then we went to the toy shop on Victoria Park Road, where we invested in some glue, scissors and paint brushes for future craft activities, Victoria Park playground and the Pavilion for scrambled egg, smoked salmon and chocolate brownie, with HackneyChild informing me what his usual routine with Daddy was : "I usually have a little plate. And a spoon." After lunch HackneyChild said: "Didn't we have a nice morning?" and he was right, apart from having to bribe him to leave the house with a biscuit and the inexplicable failure of his pull up half way house nappy pants things to actually stop the wee from wetting his trousers.

I had forgotten how easily you start talking to people when you have a child with you which is really nice - talked to two girls on the bus about cravings in pregnancy, and mums in the Pav and at singing about random things. I am always stymied though by my inability to tell whether a child is male or female - they say "ooh, how old is he" and I say "two and a bit. How old is, er, your one?" It just feels rude to say "And is that a boy or a girl?" so I end up addressing my questions to the child "And can you walk yet?". People keep coming up and saying "We know your little boy but he is usually with his daddy" so obviously Hackney_bloke made an impression on the mummies of Hackney.

Hackette no longer

Well, for the next year at least. Probably. Unless dire economic straits forces me back to work before that. I'm now on maternity leave, starting from last Monday, which means I'm now full time carer to HackneyChild and Hackney_bloke is full time freelancer/ wage earner. It also means we have withdrawn HackneyChild from his nursery, which I feel guilty about as he was getting on really well and they can offer such a lot of things that I can't like sand and water play and outside play(we have no garden); also HackneyChild was just starting to socialise with his peers and now I drag him away.

I did have some issues with the nursery (TV and food) but all in all they are brilliant, and getting HackneyChild's development books with all the notes about how he was progressing made me appreciate them even more. And I'm a director now - first meeting next month.

The main theme of this week has been potty training, and on Monday we went to Mothercare and bought a new potty (the first one was so tiny), and 14 pairs of pants. It seems to be going well - there were no accidents today - although I am wimping out when it comes to supermarket trips etc and putting pull up nappies on. We have also been to Discover in Stratford again (nice time but major tantrums on way back as I forgot to take dummy); Hackney City Farm (love it), London Fields playground, and the library. I need to get reaquainted with all the drop ins and stuff.