JK Rowling and Thomas the Tank Engine: a literary partnership

Now, JK Rowling's literary borrowings from various sources are obvious in many ways - the structure of school series like St Clares, with each book having the "lacrosse/ Quidditch game" the "new teachers" and so on; shades of the Worst Witch and Wizard of Earthsea etc. Nothing wrong with that.

But I think I have unearthed a new and previously undiscovered source of Rowling's creativity - Thomas the Tank Engine. Can it be a coincidence that on the back of the Thomas books which list all the other titles in the series, Arthur ( a red train) is next to Molly (a yellow train), reflected in Rowling's choice of Arthur and Molly Weasley as the names of Ron's Mum and Dad?

Not only that but other titles include: Percy (Ron's brother); George (Ron's brother); Freddie (kind of Ron's brother if you lose the ie); and Bill and Ben (Bill is Ron's brother). The only Weasley family members not represented by trains are Ginny and Charlie. What can this mean? I feel a PhD coming on.

PS Don't start telling me that both the Rev Awdry and successors and JK tended to pick traditional British boys names and there's not that many of them - I shall just put my fingers in my ears and hum.

Radio gaga

I was on the radio this morning. BBC West Midlands, for some reason. So all the good people of Birmingham and surrounding area got to hear my thoughts on how young people get a negative press. In fact many probably woke up to them, since I was on just after the 7am news. Sorry about that, if you were one (although why you'd be reading my blog I don't know).

Have to say the host Phil Upton sounded absolutely fascinated by what I had to say (not). "Thanks for that HackneyHackette...now Afghanistan!" Or something.

Thought I might have to hide small boy in a closet but Hackney_bloke distracted him with porridge.

It's me, I'm Cathy, I've come home

I really wanted to like ITV's adaptation of Wuthering Heights, but it was pants. I have no idea what was going on at the end and I have read the book. Unless it was mentioned in the first five minutes which I missed, nothing was said of what happened to Isabella, who presumably died; Heathcliff seemed to be auditioning for the part of Snape in Harry Potter and was not at all sexy (in fact if he had been Snape in Harry Potter, or at least Alan Rickman's version, he would have been sexier); no-one appeared to age at all apart from in a big leap from child to adult (couldn't they at least have greyed Heathcliff's hair?) .

Worst of all I thought there was absolutely zero chemistry between Cathy and Heathcliff. When they said "my love" it sounded like they were saying "cup of tea" or "bus-stop". Despite snogging the faces off each other I just wasn't feeling the spark, and that's what the whole book is about. Without it Cathy is just a spoilt child and Heathcliff is a brute, and that's about what they were.

I want to re-read the book now, though.

Confusing cousins in kidlit

Having just "read" (skipped through) What Katy Did Next, just after "reading" What Katy Did and What Katy Did at School, I can reveal in a nitpicky style that "Cousin Olivia/ Mrs Page" morphs from being Katy's mamma's cousin:

"Mrs. Page was your dear mother's second cousin; and at one time she lived in your grandfather's family, and was like a sister to mamma and Uncle Charles."

to Dr Carr's cousin:

"But we must treat her politely, you know, Lilly; her father is my cousin."

Susan Coolidge, this is carelessness! And what is it with children's authors that they have such problems keeping up with cousins? Enid Blyton has the same issue - George, Anne, Dick and Julian are all called Kirrin, so we must assume that their fathers are brothers. But then Kirrin Cottage, Kirrin Island etc are said to have belonged to Aunt Fanny's family. Was she also called Kirrin before she got married? I don't think Enid was paying attention.

The other thing that annoys me about the Katy books is that Clover's hair starts out straight but by the time she is 18 it has turned wavy. I wouldn't mind, but they make such a big deal about it being straight:

Clover's thick, straight locks required to be pinched hard before they would give even the least twirl, and to her, Saturday night was one of misery... In consequence of these sufferings Clover hated curls, and when she "made up" stories for the younger children, they always commenced: "The hair of the beautiful princess was as straight as a yard-stick, and she never did it up in papers--never!"

Then in WKDN: Her thick, brown hair waved and coiled gracefully about her head.

I should be deported immediately

I have failed the UK Citizenship test with a score of 50 per cent.

I expect the knock on the door tonight.

No-one wants to see two hot actors making out, apparently - must be why Brokeback Mountain did so badly

I can't help feeling the new Sherlock Holmes film will be dreadful, directed as it is by Guy Ritchie. This makes me sad.

On the other hand, I do like this. And I love this quote from a film critic that Fox News dragged out to put some kind of homophobic angle on it all. "Who is going to want to see Downey Jr. and Law make out? I don't think it would be appealing to women."

How little you know women. Although I could wish Watson was someone other than Jude Law.

Surely now it is just moments before someone dramatises top romance My Dearest Holmes, or even better the fanfic that has the excellent line: "Watson, not only have I been dreaming for years of doing things to you that would shock your conscience, turn your stomach, and outrage your medical sensibilities, I have for the past month been paying a male prostitute to impersonate you while I do them to him."

Gullbert and Gullian

We have two baby seagulls living on the roof of the house opposite. They peek out every now and then and make a noise like we live by the sea. It's very disconcerting to wake up to the cry of the seagulls when the nearest beach is probably 100 miles away.

Gullbert (or Gullian) is currently going a bit nutsoid flapping his wings and trying to launch himself off the roof, so I shouldn't think they'll be with us much longer.